Love it or List it

One night during August of 2012, while we initiated a planning meeting for the group of young adults at my former church, my leaders asked how I was doing. My response was a short “ok.” Noticing the lack of spirit in my jaded response they asked to talk to me after the meeting ended. I agreed to the post meeting.

Soon after they started what seemed to be an intervention by painstakingly questioning my situation. Honestly, most of my discouragement was due to the fact that my career plans were not coming to fruition at all. After venting and unburdening all of my despair, my leaders surprised me with the following: "If anyone understands what it is to feel hopelessness for not seeing results after many attempts, it’s us." Their empathy was real, sincere, and palpable.

However, the climax of the conversation took place when one of them warned me “if you had to choose again between your situation or ours, we can assure you that you would choose your own situation all over again.” But, it was not until months later that I finally understand the depth of their words ... let me explain...

One of my favorite shows on HGTV is “Love it or List it.” The show features the conflict between couples who after many years of living in the same house, wake up to the realization that their homes are no longer adequate for their family size and current lifestyle.

Due to these complications, one spouse wants to sell the old house and buy a new one while the other spouse wants to make the necessary renovations in order to remain in their current home. As a result, the success of the show is based on a real estate agent and an interior designer dramatizing a competition to convince the couple that their respective proposal is the best.

In the course of an hour, the viewer is witness to the new homes that the real estate agent shows the couple. Many of these homes represent an opportunity for the couple to live in the home of their dreams. Simultaneously, the interior designer strives to make all that is within her budget to remodel several areas of the current home so as to optimize the home’s functionality.

It results very entertaining for me to try to guess what decision the couple will make at the end. The question becomes: will the real estate agent manage to win a new sell? Or will the interior designer convince the couple to remain in their current home? Almost always I bet the real estate agent will win and convince the couple to sell the old house and buy a new one.

Months after my meeting that August night, while watching an episode of “Love it or List it,” I remembered the words of my leaders. The following words echoed in my mind: “if you had to choose again between your situation and ours...” And it was right then in there that I realized that a lot of times many of us find ourselves in a debate similar to that of the couples on the show “Love it or List it.” But instead of deciding between purchasing a new property or remodeling the interior of the old house, we struggle with the internal frustration of wanting to change our living situation. Perhaps we feel that our life is not functional. And similarly to the couples who aspire to move into a new house, how much time do we spend wanting to change our lifestyle?

I think it is no coincidence that the Bible compares our lives to a house (Matthew 7: 24-25). I think we can grasp the idea that just as a house has structural and decorative elements inside and out, our lives are composed of internal and external characteristics. The external features of our lives may be those things evident to the people around us, such as our belongings, appearance, actions, and words. I guess everything that makes up our external lives may be summarized as our living situation. However, hidden in our internal beings are our emotions, thoughts, desires, and motivations.

Much to my surprise, most times I watch “Love it or List it,” I find that the majority of couples choose to remain in their old homes after seeing the interior spaces remodeled. Watching this I was convinced that an appropriate interior turns a house into a home desirable to dwell in. Therefore, if I apply this idea to us, I believe that having a renewed inner being invites contentment into our lives.

And although our situation might not change, we may need to remodel our interior being in order to accept or embrace our living situation. In part, I think this is precisely what my leaders meant when they said: “If you had to choose... you would choose your own living situation all over again.”

Now, I may not know what is your current situation, but the question I present to you is this: Which areas of your inner being would you renovate in order to attract new perspective to your life?